Okay, now you've gotten my attention.
The sun rises today on an Electoral College map virtually tied at 273-265. Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton is still on top, but barely. As recently as early October she led by 42 points (Real Clear Politics, "No Toss Up States").
Donald John Trump picked up 21 electoral votes overnight . . .
. . . as RCP shifted North Carolina (15) and Nevada (6) to his column.
It takes 270 electoral votes to win.
Here's the headline, same as yesterday and the day before: Ms. Clinton is ahead, still more likely than not to win, but beatable.
And here's a caution: Mr. Trump has been here before. On September 22, he was at 266, but quickly managed to kill his own momentum and drop back below 200. Can he do better this time?
His path to the Oval Office now requires two things: (1) not losing any state RCP now assigns to him and (2) picking up either (a) Colorado (9) or (b) Virginia (13) or both New Hampshire (4) and Maine's Second Congressional District (1).
Both requisites are iffy.
Meanwhile, speaking of wonders never ceasing, Mr. Trump has reached 45 points in the polls and held it for a third day. His usual response to such political prosperity is to rouse himself at 3 a.m. to tweet stupid and scary stuff.
Ms. Clinton is still ahead, 47-45, but her 2-point lead appears wobbly, largely sustained by polls that closed before last Friday's announcement that her FBI investigation was still alive.
Mr. Trump has touched 45 twice before, once in late June and again in early October. Both times he stayed there about ten minutes before falling back, sharply. Is the third time the charm?
RCP's four-way screen -- Trump vs. Clinton vs. Johnson vs. Stein -- has the same two-point spread: 45-43-4-2.)
So far, Ms. Clinton is not falling in the polls. Her numbers have not budged. Her 47 points are right in the middle of her trading range since early August.
My theory is that her progressive base doesn't care about the negative stuff about her: the WikiLeaks data dumps, her aversion to truth-telling, or her view of high office as a Clinton family profit center. All that matter to them are power, euro-socialist policy, and control of the federal government's check-writing machines, to which she is the shining path.
What's changed is not that Ms. Clinton has gone down in the polls, though that may yet happen. What has changed is that Mr. Trump has gone up in the polls.
This is because many conservatives, me included, have decided at this late hour to hold our noses and vote for him as the lesser evil.
I pretty much agree with whatever case you wish to make against Mr. Trump. Not a conservative or a Republican? Check. Wrong on trade? You betcha. A man of low character? No argument here. Crude, rude, and lewd? Yep. Bad hair? Tell me about it.
But he brings one solid argument to the table that no one can dispute: If he's president, she ain't.
At this hour, that's the best we can do.
Millions of Americans have already voted. Their votes were cast when prospects were far rosier for Ms. Clinton and far gloomier for Mr. Trump. This may mean that Ms. Clinton has already locked away enough votes to carry some states that RCP may credit to Trump.
The next two or three days remain critical. If Mr. Trump can catch up or, against all odds, go ahead, perhaps he can win. If he blows this chance, as is his penchant, however, I doubt there's time to recover and make another run.
And when it's all over, if Mr. Trump wins, as I hope, then my prayer for America will be the same as if Ms. Clinton had won: God help us.
* * *
The substance of this post is pretty much the same as yesterday's, but with fresher numbers.
For newcomers, Unca D cites Real Clear Politics because it averages third-party polls. This approach raises all sorts of theoretical questions, but it has the virtue of squeezing the volatility out of the numbers. It allows us to ignore all the yak-yak-yakking on cable television about dramatic headline polls. You know, the ones that bounce like Silly Putty and lie far out in left field.
(I'm asking for a plea deal here: Ignore the metaphor-mixing and I'll plead guilty to misdemeanor cliché-mongering, with time off for the wordplay on "lie.")
Unca D also quotes only the integers in RCP's numbers. The fractions are meaningless. Want to do it another way? Do it yourself.