. . . celebrate Veterans Day, the Houston Chronicle today honors something ever so much more important:
Governor Perry's boo-boo.
Friday was not Veterans Day at 801 Texas; it was Schadenfreude Day.
The best bit, genuinely funny, was Nick Anderson's cartoon of Mr. Perry urging his staff ever onward: "C'mon staff! When the odds'r against us, Texans stand and fight! Remember the . . . ummmm . . . . uhhhh . . . . ummmmm . . . ."
For more typical Chronicle fare -- nasty-spirited contempt for all things beyond the faculty lounges, Occupy tent cities, President Fifty-Seven States (Oops!), and editorial boardrooms -- turn to page 1 of "City & State."
The job description for new columnist Patricia Kilday Hart, apparently, is to read and watch the same stuff we read and watch, pick a story, download a few choice comments from leftist blogs and Twitter accounts and old Paul Burka columns, then recycle them, liberally larded with progressive snark. The Molly Ivins model (except that Ms. Ivins thunk it up her one-liners her own self).
Mere seconds after the word ["oops"] escaped Gov. Rick Perry's lips . . . the Twitter-ocracy pronounced its judgment: the Perry presidential campaign was over.
"Rick Perry = Aggie joke."
. . . .
Here in Texas, those of us watching the Michigan debacle felt a seismic shuddering through our political landscape. The unimaginable had happened to our once-invincible governor, whose charmed career has been blessed by great timing and better hair.
For the umpteenth time, the hair joke. Groan. Read it, if you must.
Of course, Ms. Kilday Hart is a mere columnist, entitled to her opinion, except, of course, she also speaks for the Houston Chronicle.
All Chronicle columnists and editorialists are collectivists. Their opinions cover the entire spectrum of thought, from the left to the far left. If you're waiting for a comment on l'affaire oops from a conservative columnist at Houston's downtown newspaper, you'll be waiting a long, long time, as in never.
Right on cue, Friday's editorial chimes in with viel Freude at Mr. Perry's Schaden. The writing is good -- probably Lisa (Lisa!) Gray -- and the tone is one of mock concern for the governor's welfare.
Please come home, Rick Perry. It's time.
(Editorial, "Curtain call: Gov. Perry, the show is over. It's time to come home to Texas," Houston Chronicle, November 11, 2011)
The argument is more-or-less identical to Ms. Kilday Hart's. Scattered clauses phrases will give you all you need to know about the attitude.
. . . . appointees are now in total control of every board or commission of note . . . political war chest fueled by grateful supporters . . . endless series of GOP presidential candidate debates . . . like Superman carrying a backpack of kryptonite . . . zany New Hampshire speech . . . mugging over a bottle of maple syrup . . . less-than-imposing debate opponents in the current Republican field . . . mediagenic President Barack Obama . . . latest blunder . . . fumbling . . . running the state bureaucracy with an iron fist . . . paper over the damage . . . .
(For future reference, Ms. Gray (if, indeed, you are the perpetrator of this heartfelt cry of joy disguised as an editorial), war chests are not fueled. They're filled. When you're riding a hot figure of speech toward the finish line, always remember not to cross any bridges before the chickens come home to roost.)
What really chaps Ms. Kilday Hart and the editorial board -- and they're not too big to admit it -- is Mr. Perry's historic and, I would say, justified contempt for them. Ms. Kilday Hart:
Like the athlete so gifted he thinks he's above ordinary drills and workouts, Perry skipped the preparation that most career politicians endure [DDH: nice choice of verb, no?]: engaging pesky reporters and editorial boards, debating his opponents.
The editorial:
One final thought, Governor. That decision you made during the last campaign not to debate Democrat [Bill] White or submit [Unca D: another nice verb] to editorial board screenings or probing media interviews just might be one reason you seem totally unprepared for the hard questions and nonstop pressures of a prime-time national campaign.
Let'em have their fun. The fact is, Mr. Perry probably is done as a presidential candidate. Dancing around the Aggie bonfire fueled [or is it filled] by the governor's vain national ambitions at least keeps Ms. Kilday Hart and the editorialists from targeting their snark on military veterans or writing another memorable endorsement of the Occupy movement.
And Mr. Perry provides a useful proxy for those the Clever Ones resent most, but cannot condemn directly -- Houstonians and Texans afflicted with too much common sense to pay serious attention to them.
* * *
Now let's clean the sour taste of the Houston Chronicle out of our palates with this celebration of Veterans Day:
Those with less of a sense of service to the nation never understand it when men and women of character step forward to look danger and adversity straight in the eye, refusing to blink, or give ground, even to their own deaths. The protected can't begin to understand the price paid so they and their families can sleep safe and free and night. No, they are not victims, but are warriors, your warriors, and warriors are never victims, regardless of how and where they fall. Death, or fear of death, has no power over them. Their paths are paved by sacrifice, sacrifices they glady make for you.
(Marine Lieutenant General John F. Kelly, Veterans Day Speech, Semper Fi Society of St. Louis, November 13, 2010, quoted here from Leon R. Kass, "The Significance of Veterans Day," Weekly Standard, November 11, 2011)
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